If there’s one thing about the early days of motherhood I never thought I could possibly miss it’s breast feeding. It wasn’t that I hated it per say, I just wasn’t in love with the idea. I nursed my daughter simply because I knew it was the best possible thing for her to eat, I was perfectly capable and bonus! FREE! With all the added expense of a new baby, free is always good.
The bot took to breastfeeding like a champ. If she wasn’t so good at it from the get go, I don’t know if I would have continued.( little shite even gave me a hickey once! ) Whenever I think about it or try to explain, I feel like I don’t do a good enough job of not making myself sound like an arse hole…I guess it just became something I did out of necessity? There were a few challenges in the early days. Proper latch, (hickey!) Was she getting enough, (I made cream, all good there…) OUCH! (….ouch) Then there was the issue of um…over production. I no longer had breasts, I had faucets. I HAD to wear nursing pads 24-7 and they would be soaked in between feedings. By soaked I mean literally heavy with milk in a span of 3 hours. Nothing major tho, things settled down and we figured it out. It got much easier as time went on. By 2 1/2 months, the girl was crazy efficient. 5 mins per boob and she got in a full feeding, burped like a champ and was borderline comatose food drunk.
(she’s almost 6 months here but that’s the food drunk face :P)
So, we went from “this sucks” to, “I’m a freakin cow” to wham bam burp! We went strong for about 3 months before settling into just one overnight feeding. I didn’t mean to stop that early, it just sort of happened 
Once she stopped waking up for her night-cap, I stopped producing and we were done. I didn’t bother me right away. We switched to bottles during the day and went on with our lives. Never looked back. …..Until a good year and a bit later when I saw a woman nursing at the café I frequent. I got this pang of want, no, NEED! I desperately wanted to feed my tiny baby again…Problem being she was anything but tiny anymore…Enter baby fever! We held off for a while, got married (woop woop!!) and found out we were knocked up again while we were home for Christmas. Now as you’ve probably gathered from past posts, I’m not the biggest fan of pregnant. I just want this long, boring and invasive process to be over and done with. I want to meet my new girl and hold her and nurse her and most likely never sleep again. As long as I’m no longer pregnant, I’m totally cool with that…
Speaking of sleep, we come to the reason for this post…I’m sure you’ve heard that pregnancy can induce some pretty whacked out random dreams. Most of mine are baby related. Usually I’m in labor, had her too early, had her and she looks weird or had her and can’t find her. In that one I’m strangely not worried….weird…Well, the other night things went in a slightly different direction. I dreamt that she was here and had been for a week but had never eaten. (this being completely normal in the messed up world of dreams) She started to fuss and do that snorty puppy rooting thing so I yanked up my shirt and popped her on. It felt so incredibly good to finally be nursing a tiny baby again! Fast forward to later that day. I noticed my mam’s were a bit itchy so I checked the gals out. Would anyone care to take a guess what I found? Yup, sprung a leak….sigh. Nothing worthy of a pad or anything, but enough that I saw it. I am insanely nervous I’m going to be even more fountainous then last time. I’m just not going to touch them until she gets here. Might even invest in some caution tape…Or duct tape! That stuff fixes everything right??
Miss K ❤
kikichiikii 