When you are waiting on a baby, weeks feel like months, 1 day feel’s like 6 and time jut generally slows down to a most frustrating pace. Having a planned C-Section made it even worse in a way. Yes I had the convenience of a definite day. Easier for working out who would be here with the bot, when family could come and visit, when to have everything done by etc. When you are waiting on your due date, you know there’s a very good chance you won’t go into labor by or before that day. Knowing it’s just an estimate gives you something to casually look forward to without that ticking bomb feeling. While waiting on my section, every day that went by was another tick.
One more month. Tick…
2 more weeks. Tick…
3 more days. Tick, tick, tick…
It added all this pressure and panic. I had a count down.
I wished and hoped with everything I had that I would go into labor on my own. I mean, she was being yanked at 38 weeks and 5 days so already a little early. But I just had this un-explainable need for my body to do what it was supposed to do. There were a few times I thought I was getting what I’d hoped for. I had some days/nights of mild contractions, she dropped low enough for my OB to exclaim that she didn’t realize she wasn’t coming out that way 😛 I had days of pure exhaustion followed by random bursts of energy….It was all very frustrating. My fave symptom was the excruciating tailbone pain. Ugh…It got so bad I almost bought myself a hemorrhoid doughnut to sit on. (I actually rolled up a sweater and arranged in on my glider in the shape of a ring in hopes of some relief haha!)
So even with a countdown, a date and My sister heading our way to keep the bot company for D-Day, I still felt unprepared. The new girls room STILL wasn’t painted, would the bot be ok without me for three days? Did we have everything we needed? Was it all washed? The list was endless. It all feels silly and unimportant now but at the time I was chewing my nails to the quick.
Even with all the panic and pressure, I felt the need to try to assist in evicting her…Nothing serious, just something, anything to make me feel productive. I ate a whole pineapple resulting in one sore as hell mouth, made a labor cake. Yes I said labor cake. Don’t ask me how it’s supposed to induce labor but it tasted like chocolate sex with fudge frosting…I also tried drinking clove tea, enough squats to make my legs shake, dancing around the house like a round mad woman (my girl loved it ;P) and rocking back and forth while sitting Indian style. None of which did a damn thing. Although something seemed to coax her lower resulting in pelvic and even more tailbone pain. goody! There was one thing that I swore never to tell anyone I actually was dumb enough to try…Ladies and gents, I am going to reveal what it is to be a desperate pregnant woman…
While casually reading posts on babycenter, I came across an interesting and entirely stupid method of induction. I am ashamed to admit I stooped to a level I never thought possible for me. I assure you, I am not mad or loony or mentally unstable in any way. Ok I can’t really, totally, 100% assure you….But I swear I’m not completely crazy… In a moment of less than sane pregnantdom, I tried what is called….The coffee potty…If you know what it is, I know, I can’t believe I did it either…If you don’t however, allow me to explain. A coffee potty is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. You take a bowl, some coffee grounds, add some boiling water and sit…(here’s the post) Yea…Not one of my finer moments. I totally dark roasted my lady bits. For no reason. Nothing happened. Although! My bathroom and my nether regions smelled fantastic for the rest of the day!
So I tried and failed and ended up having her on her scheduled section date. As planned. It actually went really well! But I’ll save that one for later, The new girl definitely deserves her own story 😉 Side note! I hope, like me, that the next time you are enjoying your morning coffee you will think of me and have yourself a little giggle.
Miss K ❤
kikichiikii 