Recap! Miss Mel had a rough pregnancy and a less than smooth labor, the little lovely was born with a tracheoesophageal fistula which she’s had a very successful surgery to correct, beautiful baby has graduated from the NICU and moved to the general surgery ward, (yay!!) and has been successfully drinking both pumped breast milk and formula from bottles and has started to attempt nursing! GASP!! Ok now that we’re breathing, part two of our story will address Bottle Vs Breast. It’s a tough one and probably one of the more controversial topics on the internet. Here we go…
As you can imagine, Miss Mel has been under a considerable about of stress. Aside from the standard new parent worries, she has had to deal with medical conditions, surgery’s, Dr’s and nurses out the wazoo, tubes, wires, attempting sleep at a hospital…The list goes on. The fact that this tough ass Mama even kept up with the pumping was, I think, pretty incredible! So naturally, when her first attempts at breastfeeding were met with frustration and a fussy baby, it was a little discouraging to say the least. To add to the headache, The Mermaid had to be weighed on a less than perfect scale, before and after feedings, to make sure she was getting the proper amounts. Oy!
Nursing is supposed to be natural, relaxed, even pleasurable! These were not the feelings being expressed by our poor run down Mama…And so our damsel in distress was faced with a choice. The wee urchin was conquering the bottle like a champ but struggling with the breast. In order to lose the feeding tube altogether, she needed to be getting in a full feeding every time, AND start packing on the pounds. After much consideration, a ton of Mom guilt and feeling like a quitter, Miss Mel decided to give up on BF. I honestly can’t say that I blame her! Breastfeeding is hard under normal circumstances. There was a lot on the poor womans plate! So, she had a meeting with her lactation consultant and told her of her decision. Fast forward a bit, Dr comes into her room. He tells her he talked to lacto lady and they had come up with a solution. She would not give up, she would continue. Um….sorry what? His argument was that suckling from the breast would be more beneficial to her learning to take food into her mouth and swallow and that the LM would now be treated as an everyday, run of the mill, new baby learning to BF. No more weigh ins, no more stress. Miss Mel agreed and here we are!
My argument is that I have no argument. Do I think breast milk is the best thing for baby? Yes. Do I think It’s wrong to give your baby formula instead? No. I believe it is totally and completely the mother’s (or parent’s) choice. The truth is, guilt starts from conception. There are articles and groups and comments everywhere fighting for one side or the other. Mothers who choose to formula feed their babies are called stupid, selfish, lazy. They are attacked, (sometimes publicly!) by lactivists blatantly stating how wrong and horrible they are for bottle feeding. Why? What is there to gain from degrading another Mother? Isn’t there enough worry and uncertainty accompanying parenthood? Don’t we all understand how hard it is, constantly wondering if you’re doing the right thing?
I personally breast-fed my girl until she was about 3 months old, and like so many before us, we struggled in the beginning. Like Miss Mel, I too had a C-Section. The nurse that gave me my first lesson in breast feeding told me to try the football hold so I wouldn’t rest my girl on my incision. Ya, that was crap. The most amusing and sweet part of our learning process was that the Man Boy was the one to actually show me how to do it! He just sat beside the hospital bed, head in hands and directed me on how to line her up and get her on there. When I looked at him slack-jawed and shocked, he just shrugged and said he just knew that’s how it was supposed to be done. It still baffles me haha! That being said, if the girl wasn’t such an efficient nurser from the get go, I don’t know how long I would have kept it up. In all honesty, I wasn’t the biggest fan initially. It was hard, it felt strange, it hurt like hell and good god do infants ever eat a lot! Every 3 hours, sometimes 2 1/2 during growth spurts! I developed this deep inner understanding and sympathy for the life of a jersey cow. Eventually things got easier, it started to hurt less and my boobs stopped behaving like Niagara Falls. (I was a milk making machine) It went from feeling like something I had to do to something that I was ok with doing. There were a few sentimental moments when all felt right in my world, and I actually enjoyed it, but for the most part, I breast-fed because I knew it was the best thing for her and like most parents, I wanted the best for my child.
I know women who love it, I know women who hate it, and some, like me, do it simply because it’s what you do! There are so many reasons, some medical, some personal, that a women might choose not to breastfeed. But it is simply and totally that. A choice. Mother’s from both sides of the story are just trying to do what they feel is best for their children. I believe that breast feeding Mother’s deserve our support. They shouldn’t feel the need to excuse themselves in order to feed their hungry children. If bottles are acceptable in public places, so should a boob! It’s just a boob for crying out loud! I also believe that Mom’s who choose formula should not be chastised and critiqued, and made to feel less of a women. Bottle feeding Mums deserve our support too! You are not poisoning your child, or neglecting them, or providing them with a poor excuse for a nutritious meal. Thats Bull! Whatever you choose to feed your baby, as long as you feed your baby, (applause) that’s all that should matter. Well fed, satisfied, happy growing babies. Formula or breast milk, you are a good Mom!
Miss K ❤
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